Kathleen's Blog

I didn’t even attend a school in the U.S until High School. I was a military brat, who by the age of 16, had spent more time outside the US than in it. It was a pretty great way to grow up and even with the challenges of that nomadic, foreign lifestyle, I wouldn’t change it or trade it.  I learned a lot about the world and the people in it.

In particular, one lesson I carry with me every time I step off U.S. Soil is reinforced by the sound of my mother’s voice in my head telling me not to be an “Ugly American.”  She defined “Ugly American” as someone who is obnoxious and reinforces the negative stereotype much of the world has of Americans: Rude. Self-Important. Over-bearing. Ignorant. Sadly, having traveled quite a bit internationally, both as an adult and a child, I’ve seen enough nasty American behavior to understand and, often agree, with that negative stereotype.

Even as recently as this weekend in Mexico, I witnessed some Ugly Americans loudly demanding their pool-side chairs be turned around. Seriously? Turn them around yourself! I was so embarrassed. Mortified. Not only because their behavior was rude to the staff, but also to the English couple next to me, the Australian woman walking by and the Moroccan family across the pool. That rude couple managed to offend and disturb a variety of nationalities all at once!

So I got to thinking… maybe they just didn’t know better? Maybe they didn’t know you shouldn’t be disrespectful and condescending, ever. But you most certainly should leave that ugly behavior at home when you are a guest in someone else’s country.

Growing up, if we were going off base, we had to remember we were guests in someone else’s “home.” That meant you were always courteous, always respectful and even when provoked, you were deferential. I remember spending time off base in Yokosuka with friends and having little, old ladies who still remembered the horrors of Hiroshima and Nagasaki stamp their canes and yell at us from across the street. Our response was not, nor would it have ever crossed our minds, to yell and curse back at them. No, we humbly and respectfully let them have the street and turned around.

Traveling in China with my parents, I was exposed to negative (false) Communist Propaganda for the first time and we were also quite an oddity in China, when at that time, Americans weren’t a common sight in Communist China. So my parents made me learn a few basic words before we arrived in China –  I learned enough Mandarin to say thank you, please, hello and goodbye. And when people stared at me, I greeted their stares with a smile.

Before going to Dubai, we read a lot about the local customs, religion and culture to make sure we didn’t offend anyone. We had to be especially careful because we were two, single females (the horror!  I left the sarcasm at home…) traveling alone in a country where that wasn’t commonplace.  We were prepared for the separate lines and the subservient female society, but I am not going to say there weren’t a few times I had to bite my tongue at being ignored or discounted. But I was a guest in their county.

I am in no way advocating being a passive or impartial observer, but instead caution against having a self-serving, self-indulgent attitude. Keep things in perspective and don’t get demanding when the situation doesn’t warrant it. Also, make sure you have a basic understanding of the people and culture so your behavior isn’t offensive. Don’t be an “Ugly American.” Traveling overseas gives us the opportunity to learn more about the world and for the world to learn more about us. And maybe, just maybe, the world will realize that not all Americans are rude and obnoxious.

Love, me